Thursday, April 16, 2015

From Daniela Montes' Heart


 

I Love you because:

You are awesome. You have control over everything and you make things work. You are more different than anyone else I know. I wish you are my mom. I want to be like you. You always tell me to don’t lie. You had two kids all be yourself and they are cool. You are so good. You are always helping people. You cry when you see babies. You dance a lot to all the music I put on. You are so smart.You don’t give up. You have nice taste. You are humble. You cook good and healthy.You stopped smoking and that is hard but you do hard things like it is nothing. You always daydream. You are not embarrassed about things and you dare to do new things. You are a good friend and mother. When you laugh its for real. I look up to you so much. You always smell good after you stop smoking. You have a beautiful body even if you say you have a belly. You have soft hands. You are so unique. I am going to miss the hell out of you. You are going to cry when I give you this note.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Danni


A email from Danni on 04/16/2015. She says its my first farewell present and enjoyed killing me with it.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Channeling Meredith Grey

Im not sure I love him but I have space for him. I have a space everyday, for him. I like so much of him. I want so much of him. Im silly for him. He is in my head, in my mouth, in my bra, in the Cuban coffee I make in the afternoons.

Last night. Last night the beer was so good. I want to go back to last night. But im stuck with today and the sadness of the emptiness, of the absence, of the regret he feels about last night.



April 14 2015 : Menstruation and Rejection and Space : bad combo.


Te Pienso

Te pienso. En el huracán que llevo enfrascado en la cabeza; pensamientos, razones, notas aéreas, líos, hambre…estás tú. Vibran dentro de mi un que otro fragmento de situaciones vividas, trocitos de conversaciones pasadas, de risas estalladas, de besitos robados en la barra, caminatas, buen café. Me calientan por dentro hasta explotar como suspiro o, a veces, gemido, los recuerdos de noches de bulla, movimiento, exaltación. Noches en las cuales caigo exhausta sobre ti en silencio y quietud aguardando que los corazones se vuelvan a su lugar. Que lindos los amaneceres tibios y relajados con mi cuerpo enroscado en el tuyo. Que chulo como nos miramos fijamente a los ojos sin palabras, sin vergüenza. Creo que el otro dia, de un prontico, me tocastes el alma. Eres una buena idea, una convulsión tan divina, pero al fin y al cabo, tambien eres ajeno. Ah, que importa. Me gusta que no suframos de amor, al contrario, siempre que estamos juntos es una celebración. No hay celos, ni promesas, ni mentiras, ni excusas. 'Nosotros' solo existimos en nuestro tiempo, nuestro momento y nuestros encuentros impredecibles, sorpresivos…esporádicos. No sé catalogarnos y eso me hace pensarte más.

Agosto 2003. Cuando volví a querer vivir.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Getting Started


Life is what you remember, how you tell your story. Today I was paid to write about mine. I bought two dresses, Batman pj's and a nail polish. I have no regrets, as the old me would've had if I had dared buy myself something. I have begun Chapter 3.
 

 04/11/2015